I had a chance to spend sometime at the big lake this past weekend. While it’s not as calm and peaceful as Golden Pond is, it is a great place to get lost in your thoughts and in the moment (even when you’re with other people).
When I was young, I saw the movie On Golden Pond. I kinda enjoyed it (thanks to the boat scene) … but didn’t really get it. I mean, how can you understand a movie about dealing with growing older and about your children leaving home when you’re not even 10?
Well … I get it now. There’s something about growing old that does that to a guy. When I hear the opening theme to the movie, one of the best pieces written/performed by Dave Grusin, my eyes open up and thoughts start flowing. Thanks to iPod, which just played it about ten minutes ago, I’m getting that “I’m old” feeling again.
While I’m not really really old, like Norman from the film, I can feel that I’m not feeling as young as I used to. I hurt in my knees, my back, my arms, my chest, my feet … even my face sometimes for no reason (i.e. post exercise/yard work stuff). I’m starting to forget things. I’m getting cranky easier than before … even to the point of almost yelling at some kids “GET OFF MY LAWN!”
After the lake, we went to visit Niki’s grandma. She’s 99 years old (will be 100 in December). I’ve known her now for close to 18 years … and I can tell that time is starting to run out. I’ve been told how she’s doing a number of times since I last saw her, but it was startling to see it first hand.
It’s inevitable … but I’m not ready to grow old. I can’t avoid it … but I’m not ready to lose my ability to be me. I can’t stop it … but I don’t want to be Norman.
Can’t do much about that, but what I can do is to make sure that my relationship with C doesn’t become like that of Norman and Chelsea. When I think of C and the wonderful person she is and continues to become I don’t feel as bad anymore or as old.
Thank you, C … for keeping me young!