A couple of weeks back, I decided that I need a break from Facebook. I needed to put some distance between me and the negative energy that was just pounding at me over and over and over again. I dreaded what might come across my timeline or what might pop up through FB messenger.
Granted, it wasn’t a full two week break, as Prince passed away and I felt I had to say something about that to people – so I reactivated my account for a 24 hour period. But aside from that, it was a very nice time being gone. Not having to check it first thing in the morning, on the drive to work, once I got to work, or having it pop up throughout the day was refreshing. And it gave me plenty of time to think.
It’s hard to put the feeling of peace I experienced into words. I felt happier and less stressed than I have in a long time. I felt detached from perceived albatrosses. I felt safe from harm. I had more time to focus on things that I wanted to do without distraction, things I hadn’t done in a long time.
I actually played the PS3 for a bit, rediscovering how much I enjoy playing NBA2K16 … even though I totally suck at it. Seriously, I’ve built up a 93 rated player in the My Career mode and my Pistons are still losing to teams like the Knicks!
I also had the time to just think, to just sit in the car and listen to music and to sit at home and chill. I can’t remember the last time I did that.
Among the many things that crossed my mind during my FB sabbatical was something that came across my Tumblr feed:
“Always be yourself, express yourself, have faith in yourself, do not go out and look for a successful personality and duplicate it.” – Bruce Lee
I think, maybe, that was the problem I’ve been sensing in my mind/heart. In the attempt to fill something that is missing, I’ve done my darndest to impress other people, trying to win arguments online, trying to be unnecessarily snarky, trying so hard to make a dent and leave an impression.
But why? Why do that stuff if at the end of the day it doesn’t matter? Why not just do what I do, why not just be me? Spending so much energy on FB being something that I’m not or being someone that doesn’t bring me happiness.
This calls for a change, a change in the way that I use and interact with FB. Firstly, I’m not going to be on it as much as I have been in the past. I don’t have the energy to do so. When I get tired, I get lazy … which might explain the lack of originality/creativity with my posts on there.
Secondly, I’ll fall back into the level of the FB reader. I might read things on my newsfeed but I no longer will feel the need to respond to each and every single thing. There’s just some stuff that isn’t important, so it’s time I stop making everything important.
Lastly, it’s time to just be. I don’t have to win every debate, I don’t have to win every vote, I don’t have to have 5 million FB friends. All I have to be … is me.
Kinda goes back to one of the last week’s post about Way Back Home. It’s time to
Remember, there is only one destination, and that place is you.
All of it
P.S. A number of friends are excited that I’m back on FB and more than one of them shared this video with me. I’m not sure what they’re trying to say? 😉